Ever notice your crushes always seem to be taken — sometimes even taken by each other?
Researchers say this phenomenon has a name, and it’s more common than you might think.
A new paper in Archives of Sexual Behaviour dives into why some people are attracted to couples.
The author, Dr. Sally W. Johnston of Seattle University, called it an “understudied” type of attraction.
It already has a scientific term: symbiosexual attraction, or simply “symbiosexuality.”
What exactly is symbiosexuality?
The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality defined it back in 2021.
It’s the “experience of sexual or romantic attraction to people already in relationships.”
That can mean couples, triads, or bigger poly groups — but the attraction is toward the existing relationship itself.
Unlike bisexuality or plurisexuality, it’s not about gender.
And unlike polyamory, it’s not about wanting multiple partners for yourself.
Instead, it’s about being drawn to the chemistry, intimacy, and vibe of a preexisting bond.
Things like playfulness, shared energy, or even queerness can make that relationship extra appealing.
How common is it?
In Johnston’s study, 23% of participants admitted they’d been attracted to a couple once.
Another 52% said they’d experienced it a few times.
And nearly a quarter said they often or sometimes felt drawn to couples.
So, this isn’t exactly rare.
Isn’t this just being a “unicorn”?
In polyamorous circles, the term “unicorn” already exists.
It usually describes bisexual or queer women open to joining straight couples.
But the overlap isn’t exact.
Unicorns don’t necessarily crave the couple’s existing relationship dynamic — just the chance to join them.
The paper argues the term also trivialises people who genuinely feel symbiosexual attraction.
“Unicorn” suggests fantasy and fetish, making the preference seem less valid or respectable.
Johnston says recognising this attraction matters for understanding human sexuality.
It challenges narrow labels and acknowledges experiences often ignored or mocked.
The researcher also notes discrimination exists against people who openly admit being attracted to couples.
By naming and studying symbiosexuality, Johnston hopes to give those people recognition and language for their experience.
It’s not about encouraging stigma — but showing that attraction comes in many shapes.
And sometimes, it’s not the individual that’s hot.
It’s the relationship itself.
