Ed Sheeran Admits There Was a Time He ‘No Longer Wanted to Live’ Last Year

In his new documentary series, the Sum Of It All, Ed Sheeran will be delving into the highs and lows of his personal life and career.

In the new 4-part docuseries, the singer-songwriter will be sharing his journey to stardom, and how he navigates life as an international poster whilst also welcoming two children with his wife Cherry.

The trailer for his new show starts with a montage of clips from Sheeran’s life, from his childhood to current life on stage, with him talking about his rise to stardom. 

Videos of him starting out, playing to small intimate crowds asking them to buy his CDs so he can ‘pay for his food’ are placed side by side with clips where he’s playing sold out arenas.

However, this doesn’t come without its lows too, and Sheeran can be seen breaking down in tears, struck with grief and worry as he deals with multiple personal struggles.

This includes his best friend Jamal Edwards suddenly dying of a cardiac arrhythmia.

Sheeran says he owes Jamal for his first big break in the industry, and the two were best friends ever since.

When discussing his death in a new interview with Rolling Stone, Sheeran reveals how he was texting him with plans to shoot a video together the following day.

“Twelve hours later, he was dead,” he said.

Tearing up, Sheeran continued: “My best friend died.”

“And he shouldn’t have done.”

“I’ve always had real lows in my life,” he said.

“But it wasn’t really till last year that I actually addressed it.”

Just before this tragedy, his wife Cherry was also going through some very personal struggles as well.

Whilst pregnant with their second child, she was actually diagnosed with a tumour. In an Instagram post, the singer wrote that the couple were plagued with ‘fear, depression and anxiety’ because Cherry was diagnosed with a tumour that she couldn’t have treated until after she’d given birth. 

After Edwards’ passing, another one of Sheeran’s friends, Australian cricket star Shane Warne, died in early March in tragic circumstances.

“I felt like I didn’t want to live anymore,” he went on.

“And I have had that throughout my life.… You’re under the waves drowning. You’re just sort of in this thing. And you can’t get out of it.”

Sheeran said he felt ‘selfish’ for those emotions, especially ‘as a father’, adding: “I feel really embarrassed about it.”

But wife Cherry figured out how he was feeling, and encouraged him to seek help from a therapist.

“No one really talks about their feelings where I come from,” Sheeran said.

“People think it’s weird getting a therapist in England.… I think it’s very helpful to be able to speak with someone and just vent and not feel guilty about venting. Obviously, like, I’ve lived a very privileged life. So my friends would always look at me like, ‘Oh, it’s not that bad.”

Ed Sheeran: The Sum Of It All premieres on Disney+ on 3 May.

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